Gathering at grandma's house

All of our family members on my mother's side gathered at grandma's house at Tabuan Laru for lunch. We ate normal lunch like rice, butter prawn and some more foods. OMG!! The butter prawn is so damn nice~~~ Then all of us sat down and talked about lots of stuff. I was just listening beacuse whenever i speak out, i don't get answered. LOL.. so its better i just kept my mouth shut. I mean its a nature for me and i can't change it. Its a cupcake for everyone..

Since small i didn't talk much. I'm very much different at home and at school. I live more happily at school where i can say whatever i wanted to all my friends. While at home, i don't know what i should say. Its just like i'm totally not free to say what i wanted. If i say out my problems, they will misunderstand me and scold me like hell! Thats i the main reason i don't speak up like i did at school. I feel more comfortable wth my friends. Probably its because they understand me and they are same age as me. Its not that i say tat my family doesn't understand me, but the truth is they don't be there for me when i was really in trouble. While my friends really be there for me and cheer me up. Family??? They just scold me out of nothing and without understanding and hearing my explaination. How do you guys expect me to speak up now?? I'm just like dummy in house. No one knows my problems and my feelings everyday. I might seems happy and normal, but what about inside? Nobody in the hell know. especially her.. she act as though she really understands me. Just because she is older than me. *SIGH* i really wanna scream at her now.. she just pissed me off everyday. she is sort of like DRAMA QUEEN.. ugh...